Forgiveness
by Miqila
Summary: Years have passed and Gabi, despite still carrying the hatred deep inside of her, no longer hates the people of Paradis. But there is someone she just cannot forgive.


**Warning: Spoilers up to chapter 106.**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Shingeki no Kyojin or anything in it.**

 **Forgiveness**

Gabi stared at the little hand wrapping itself around her finger, irrationally mesmerized by the sight. When she was a child, a teenager, or even just a few years back as an adult, she could never have imagined she'd one day be a mother. Yet here she was, at the age of 22, holding her newborn baby girl they had yet to name.

"Just put her in to the crib so you can rest" Falco said from beside her bed "You need it."

Gabi gave a glare to her lover, but couldn't stay mad for long as her gaze landed to his arms, holding their baby boy, just a few minutes younger than his older sister. The sight of her children, _their_ children, held back the bubbling hatred inside of her that faded yet never left entirely, better than anything so far.

"I'm fine" she says "Besides, we haven't talked about names yet. Any ideas?"

Falco thought for a moment, but ended up shaking his head. Gabi frowned, saying: "Surely you must've thought of _something;_ you've had nine months!"

"As have you" Falco shot back "And I thought you'd come up with something since you think my naming sense is so bad."

Gabi couldn't wrap her head around what he meant with that. As she looked at him questioningly, he clarified: "Ben and Mia."

Gabi snorted. Right, the aliases Falco had come up with for them on the fly, causing her to be called "Mia" for weeks. Heck, the kids, who were no longer kids of course, from the Blouse Stables still sometimes messed up their names… although Gabi had a feeling they tended to do it on purpose, especially Kaya.

Kaya...

That girl was their savior, really. Despite knowing they were from Marley, she'd given them food and shelter, doing all she could to help them despite how hostile Gabi had been towards her. Honestly, had it not been for Falco always managing to stop her, she would've killed Kaya many times over. There was no way the other girl didn't understand this, yet she still kept giving them her aid... until she found out the truth of what had happened to the woman she had looked up to.

Gabi's memories of the time were a little hazy, but she did recall finding out the truth of who Sasha was slightly before Kaya. She could no longer remember how she found out or what she felt at the time, nor could she really remember what Kaya had said or done. If she concentrated, Gabi could get vague images of Kaya yelling at her, hitting her at least once, she was sure, but that was about it. She just couldn't remember, mostly because she had forced herself to hide away those painful memories, much like she had shut away the sight of Sasha slowly bleeding out on the floor after-

"Gabi, you okay?" Falco asked suddenly, drawing her out of her thoughts. Shaking her head, Gabi tried to clear it "Yeah, I'm fine" yes, she was fine, everything was fine. That was all in the past. They may still be stuck on Paradis, officially war prisoners that were held under rather tight watch, but they were fine. These people were not the demons she had been taught they were, that'd been clear to her for years now. Mostly because of Kaya and the Blouse family who, despite everything, had forgiven them, forgiven _her_ , helping them with their new life. Not that they ever looked at them the same way they had when they had thought they were just "Ben" and "Mia", two little runaways.

"Hey" she said "How about we name them "Ben" and "Mia?""

Falco raised an eyebrow, saying: "I thought you hated those names."

"What didn't she hate back then?" came from the doorway, getting their full attention. There stood Kaya with a basket in her hands "Sorry, the door was open."

"It's fine, really" Falco said, choosing to ignore the first bit of what Kaya had said, fearing that it'd make Gabi flip "What brings you here?"

"Mrs. Blouse sent me over to bring you guys some freshly baked bread" Kaya said as she walked over to put the basket on the table "Said that Gabi'll need a lot of energy."

Unconsciously, Gabi pulled her daughter a little closer. She really couldn't understand what was going through the heads of the Blouse couple, even after all these years. In fact, being a parent herself now, she understood them even less. If she was them she'd want her dead, no questions asked.

She was definitely the real devil here.

"So, Ben and Mia again?" Kaya said, leaning against the table. Gabo hadn't realized she'd heard that much "Will it be Ben and Mia Grice or Ben and Mia Braun?"

"Grice" Falco said at the exact same time as Gabi replied: "Braun."

The two looked at each other, both of them narrowing their eyes.

"Ben Grice and Mia Grice sound way better than Ben Braun and Mia Braun" Falco said. Had he not been holding Ben, he would've definitely crossed his arms defiantly like a child. Gabi furrowed her eyebrows, actually agreeing with that, but there was something else on her mind, too: "But I want to share the same name with my children."

"Not that it's any of my business" Kaya put in before Falco could say anything "But I agree with Falco, yet I get your point too, Gabi, so why don't you do both and have everyone in the family take the name "Grice?""

It took them a few seconds, but they did get what Kaya was implying, Falco doing so first.

"Wha-!? That's- "

"Marriage is outdated and overrated" Gabi said immediately, ignoring Falco's stuttering and his flushed face. They were lovers with a pair of children, how could he get flustered over the idea of marriage? "So not happening."

Falco sulked after hearing this, he definitely did. Kaya just raised an eyebrow, saying: "If sister was here, she'd probably say that you already argue like an old married couple anyway."

Somehow, Gabi could imagine that.

"How is Sasha doing by the way?" Falco asked, and Gabi had to hold back a grimace. While she no longer bore any hatred towards the woman who'd killed the gate guards ten years back, who _she'd_ tried to kill and almost succeeded, she preferred not to talk or think about her, for she was a reminder of who Gabi used to be, someone she was anything but proud of.

"She's doing fine, just extremely busy with work" Gabi still couldn't believe the woman had made a full recovery, continuing as a soldier as if she'd never been shot "As far as I know the situation's not so bad right now, so she should cut herself some slack."

Right, not so bad. The war was still going on, wouldn't end in a long time Gabi was sure, but a power balance had been created by Eren Yeager just before his death a few years back and no one wanted to carelessly attack Paradis anymore, especially since the island of devils held back, too. It wasn't peace, but compared to ten years ago, it was rather peaceful.

"That's good" Falco said, and Gabi didn't miss how he glanced at her from the corner of his eye "Right Gabi?"

"Of course," Gabi agreed. She didn't know if Falco was unsure of her thoughts or if he just wanted to make it clear to Kaya that she held no ill intentions anymore, but he was always on edge when Sasha was brought up, especially in Gabi's presence.

"Knock knock!" they heard someone yell from the door, and while it was still closed Gabi knew exactly who it was. She could never mistake that voice. Before any of them had a chance to say anything, Sasha skipped inside with a bright smile present on her face, just like there always was. And just like always, instead of meeting her gaze, Gabi's eyes unconsciously drifted to the left side of the older woman's torso. Had the bullet hit a little higher-

"Congratulations for your little bundle of joy!" the woman cheered, thankfully cutting off Gabi's line of thought. But then the brunette frowned, looking both at Gabi and then Falco "…Two bundles of joy?"

They nodded, Gabi barely holding in a chuckle. Sasha's slowness tended to be amusing at times. Her not so high intelligence tended to confuse Gabi too, making her wonder how the woman was still alive after all her battles when she was such an airhead. A very lucky airhead, she supposed.

Blinking, Sasha shrugged before her bright smile returned.

"The more the merrier!" she cheered "So, you two thought of names already?"

"Ben and Mia" Falco answered "Ben and Mia _Grice_."

Sasha looked at him before turning to Gabi with a raised eyebrow, repeating: "Grice?"

"No way" Gabi said flatly, making Sasha laugh "Thought so."

"What!? Why?" Falco complained, making Sasha roll her eyes before saying: "You seriously thought Gabi'd go through with that?"

"…" the brunette grinned when the man didn't answer, and Gabi couldn't hold back her own grin. Airhead as she was, Sasha was perspective when it came to people. Unnervingly so, as she was one of the biggest reasons Gabi had ended up where she was now. Without Sasha's support and understanding she'd probably be rotting in some cell right now… or already dead and buried. She owed this woman, and the whole Blouse family, really, so much. So much that no matter what she did, she'd never be able to repay them… not that they were expecting it, Gabi knew that. Still… these thoughts consuming her, she looked down, which is when she saw _it_.

"The hell?" she muttered, getting everyone's attention. Staring at Sasha's left hand, she asked: "He finally made up his mind and asked!?"

Kaya rushed over after hearing this, Gabi had forgotten she was there, and Falco too moved his attention to Sasha's hand. With a grin, Sasha held up her left hand, letting all three see the ring on her finger clearly.

"Yeah, he di- wait" she said, as if suddenly coming to a realization "You all _knew_!?"

"Of course," Kaya said "He asked your father's permission over a month ago; I happened to be in the next room."

"You were just eavesdropping, weren't you?" Falco asked her, but Kaya just shrugged "In all honesty, I've thought that it's only a matter of time for years now."

Gabi had to disagree; while she had known Sasha and Nikolo were in love, she'd never even considered that they would make it official. It was illegal for one, with Sasha being an Eldian and Nikolo being a Marleyan, even if the law didn't apply in Paradis. Then, there was the fact that she was a _soldier_ while he was a freaking _war prisoner_. Two people like that developing feelings for each other wasn't a love story, it was a disaster waiting to happen! And what if the war did end during their lifetime? What was Nikolo going to do? Abandon his wife and go home? Or abandon his past to continue living with Sasha? He could never get both, that much was clear to Gabi.

But of course, there is no way Gabi could say any of this, not when she sees how happy Sasha is. Maybe things _will_ work out for those two, after all she doubted Nikolo would have the guts to break Sasha's heart, not when that would mean getting Connie after his head. And Jean. And Mikasa. Probably the queen too. And who knows how many others. Surely the soldier turned cook had known that, right?

"Gabi?" Sasha asks after noticing that the younger woman hadn't said anything "Something wrong?"

"No no" she said hurriedly "Congratulations."

Raising an eyebrow, Falco asked: "But didn't you just say that marriage was old-fashioned?"

"But it's Sasha, she _is_ old" Gabi said with a shrug. Kaya and Falco chuckled, the later ending up down right laughing as upset Sasha started to protest loudly "I'm not old!"

"Well you certainly aren't getting any younger" Gabi said, yelping as Sasha started messing her hair none too gently. However, it came to a sudden stop with Sasha freezing to the spot as the baby in Gabi's arms suddenly started crying. Not long after, her brother followed suit.

"Eep!" Sasha yelped, letting go of Gabi and taking a few steps back "I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to-! "

"It's fine" Falco interrupted her, calming down his son as Gabi tried to lull their daughter back to sleep "They'll calm down soon enough."

"You sure about that?" Kaya asked with a slight smile "They are _Gabi's kids_ after all."

Gabi frowned, glaring at Kaya as she and Falco laughed, Sasha holding in her own laughter in the fear of scaring the newborns.

After the twins calmed down, Sasha said: "The wedding will be held next spring, you know. Mikasa agreed to be my maid of honor and, apparently, Nikolo's going to ask Jean to be his best man. I kind of wanted him and Connie to be my bride's maids, them being my closest friends and all, but mom got mad, saying that that wouldn't do, so…"

Gabi stifled a laugh as the image of Connie and Jean in identical dresses, holding bouquets, flooded to her head. Oh god, she doubted there was anything more hilarious… maybe if she tried to get Sasha to ignore her mother's wishes, the brunette would actually make the two go through with it.

"…I still need my bride's maids. Kaya, Gabi, how about it?" Sasha finished, making Gabi freeze. What did she just say?

"Sure" Kaya agreed, Gabi had known she would, but why would Sasha ask _her_? It's not like they were in bad terms or anything, but Gabi had tried to kill her and almost succeeded; it just wasn't normal to ask someone who had done that to you to be your bride's maid… right?

"Shouldn't you ask- "Gabi paused, trying to think about any female friends of Sasha, but couldn't really come up with any that she really knew of except "The queen instead?"

"Historia's always so busy, so I don't even know if she'll make it to the wedding. We'll invite her of course but there's no guarantee…" Sasha paused, adding: "You don't have to if you don't want to."

It's not that she didn't want to, she just didn't deserve the position. Again, her gaze unconsciously moved to Sasha's side where the scar would forever remain. All the people closest to Sasha knew exactly where that scar came from and who had caused it; none of them would be happy to see Gabi at the wedding, much less as a bride's maid.

Gabi was pulled out of her thoughts as she felt a hand on top of her head. Looking up again, she noticed Sasha patting her head, a soft smile on her face as her other hand went over to the spot where the scar was.

"We've been over this, haven't we?" she said "It's all in the past; you don't have to think of it anymore."

Gabi looked away. That was what Sasha always said and, by now, Gabi knew she meant it, but she also knew that not everyone saw it that way. And they shouldn't; there was no way she could be forgiven so easily, not when Sasha had been at death's door for _months_ because of her. Sasha was the odd one here, not bearing a grudge against her.

"You won't gain anything by beating yourself about it" Sasha said "It's about time that you just forgave yourself."

It would be far easier to forgive herself if the one who proved the opposite of everything she had been taught to be true wouldn't constantly be at her face. However, it's not like she could tell Sasha that. The airhead would probably find a way to blame herself for Gabi's problems then. And in a way Sasha truly _was_ the root of it all, even though it was Gabi's own fault.

"Besides" Sasha added again, caressing the cheek of the baby in Gabi's arms "Your life is no longer just yours."

Gabi looked up again, blinking. Seeing her confusion, Sasha clarified: "You can't let your past weigh down your children; it's not a burden they should share."

If Gabi agreed with anything Sasha had said today then that was certainly it; the horrors she'd seen and committed were not something she wanted to pass down to her children. They deserved happy lives, free from their mother's sins, no matter what.

"Yeah…" Gabi muttered. It would be hard to let go of the past though, perhaps impossible, but even if it weighted her down for the rest of her life, it wouldn't do the same to her children. She wouldn't let it "I… I think I'll be your bride's maid after all, if you still don't mind."

Sasha beamed, making Gabi smile back. It was hard but, perhaps, she could really put it all behind and forgive herself someday.

Someday.

 **A.N: Naturally, I let Sasha live in this story. I just thought it'd be too sad if she was dead… plus I really ship NikoSasha and kind of want to put it anywhere I can.**


End file.
